No time for fear! Al-hamdulillah
November 30, 2010
This afternoon I hestitated on coming straight home from a health lesson at the middle school, semi-successful (looking on the bright side here, it really was mostly useless, but that’s ok, and it was only my second lesson in my site, actually, after more than a year and a half living here) because I thought it might be better for me to get out for a bit. Go see some people, work myself back into the local routine after having a bunch of friends over for the past several days for Thanksgiving.
Well, the right answer turned out to be to come home, and I’m sure glad I did. I had quite an adventure, and one I’d rather have when the sun is still up. If I had come home later it might have been even more exciting without any light…
So this is how it went.
I was sitting here at my computer, working at a small random task or two, when my doorbell rang. Usually I cringe a little when I hear it go off because I never know if it’s for me or for the neighbors. This time I stood up resolutely and made my way to the door without a moment’s hesitation. When I said “shkun?” (that is, “who?”) and heard a gruff man’s voice reply, I figured it was my old neighbor again. Just the other day he’d gotten locked out somehow and needed me to let him in.
Sure enough, that’s what happened again this afternoon. But instead of just saying thanks and letting it go, he kept talking… and I tried really hard to understand him. I might get half of what he says on a good day. Thankfully this time I managed to put bit by bit by slow bit together to understand that the wind (which has been amazingly gusty all day long) closed the door on him. Unfortunately he didn’t have his key with him because he had just gone out for a second, but there he was, locked out of the compound.
Then the second important point slowly became clear: he was locked out of his house, the one in the back of our three-household compound. That’s something I’ve never been around to experience before. And the kicker was that his wife is in Tiznit. Now what would poor Baba Ahmed do?
He had a plan, though, and piece by piece I started to realize what he was getting at. As we stared at his locked front door, he mentioned the ladder up on our shared roof. Since he was talking about the ladder, I wondered why he didn’t just get it because he could still access that part of the house without a key… but then I realized he needed me to do it. So I offered and he immediately agreed that I should bring it down and that he would help me. But, we both knew I’d be bringing it down alone because he’s not in the strongest shape. No problem there! I was excited to be able to help him out with something. My neighbors are so good to me.
I went through my house to the roof and he went through the house under mine to meet me on the steps (all rather roundabout, but I appreciated his propriety). Having the ladder, I went along down the stairs to follow the corridor back to his front door. When he caught up he led me back into yet another house in the compound (I suppose there are really five houses together), the oldest one this time, and shooed a chicken out of the way so that I could place the ladder against the mud wall.
And then the next step in the process became clear to me. I would be climbing up the (thankfully very sturdy) wooden ladder onto his house’s roof.
I considered how I’ve been afraid of heights for my whole life, and then told myself that that was absolutely immaterial at the moment. It’s true I’ve gotten better about the fear (it was never an overwhelming, life-altering phobia) over the past few years, but with any less immediate need or pressure I probably would have paused for longer than I did.
As it was, I told Ahmed to wait a moment while I strapped my Chacos tight to my feet and (secretly) braced myself. I turned to him with a “bismillah” (“in the name of God”, said before undertaking anything), repeated myself a number of times as I set my foot to the first rung, and slowly made my way up. Thankfully the ladder was comfortingly sturdy and the wall not too too high.
When I found myself on top of the roof, I turned down to asked what I should do next. Ahmed spoke as though every step should be quite clear to me, asking if I needed him to help me drag the ladder up behind me on the roof. That’s when I thought to myself, “What exactly have I gotten myself into? Where did I think I’d be going after I climbed up? There’s gotta be a down…”
And what a down it turned out to be! Turning from the chicken’s courtyard to the main courtyard of Ahmed’s house, I slowly saw what had to happen next: with the ladder placed across a gap and its foot wedged onto the top of some stairs, I had to climb down onto the stairs and then descend to the ground to unlock the front door. In reality it turned out to be almost a breeze, and to anyone who doesn’t blink at heights or climbing I imagine it would look like nothing. But I knew I better not give myself any time to think or I might get scared.
Anyway, I told Ahmed to wait just a little, “imik simik!” (“little by little!”) and I’d get it done. It really didn’t take too long, again because there was no time to be afraid or think too much. Everything was delightfully stable, al-hamdulillah. Once I landed on the steps, I maneuvered to get around the ladder and opened up the door to Ahmed’s endearing smile.
He blessed my parents, whole-heartedly! He asked God to help me win. He blessed my parents some more, asked me to forgive him, and then asked God to give me some peace. I said no problem and came back to my place, reveling in an adventure and a chance to help out my neighbor. As Ahmed likes to say, “adjar n yan gmas n yan,” “one’s neighbor is one’s brother.”
Update: This morning Fadma, Ahmed’s wife, knocked on my door to say thanks for helping him out yesterday. She said that since today is Wednesday and Tahar, the shopkeeper who usually has bread, would be closed today, she wanted to make sure I had some bread in the house. When I said I didn’t, she unwrapped a beautiful, warm, soft, supple loaf she had just made… Wonderful! Now, for a snack!
Homemade bread, mmm!
